12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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