If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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