Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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