how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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