so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize