so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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