omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hippo gnu deer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
