she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dick very happy bro
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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