I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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