just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
