is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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