People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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