I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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