and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
