I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
