You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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