i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
