Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
