I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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