when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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