Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
