How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
