She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
