Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize