Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
