dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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