Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
