Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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