You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There r osticjed everywhere
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
