She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
