that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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