covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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