Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh god it's open bar.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
