You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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