Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
