i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
