Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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