no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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