thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
