just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
