Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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