no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
