Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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