I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
