Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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