That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
