Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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