Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
