question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
