tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
