is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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