So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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