i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
