for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
