MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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