See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
