Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize