Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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