ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
