Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
