go do what you do best...puke behind churches
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
