I'm really into asian looking animals
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
