so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize