you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
