I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
