I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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