'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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