We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize