theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
