I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
thus making me awesome and them whores
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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